Here I Sit

Much of this blog has been about complaining. Ok, mostly all of it. However, after talking to one of my good friends, I decided to take a more intellectual approach, when I feel like it, and not focus so much on the things I hate about the coffee shop atmosphere (namely rude customers) but to expand beyond that tiny corner of reality, and see how one small incident could possibly impact a larger existence. And if I observe the people deep enough, insights of human nature will abound.
So, this is a new quest. One I hope to follow closely and comment on regularly.

As a dear customer-friend stated yesterday (with a wink and a smile): "You are, after all, only a barista Claire. Don't forget that."
I hope to rise above that somewhat derogatory term, and do something important with my life. Impactful like a short poem. Some Dickinson, or the red wheel barrow, or whathaveyou. Maybe the Invisibles.


If I think of something, I will let you know.

Latte Season

Because it's raining... almost constantly.
People are sick, getting sick, will be sick very soon.
So Tea is on the rise
But Milk too
for those who can stomach the lactose and sugar
and succumb to a heartthrob by the fire.
Delicious, delicious heartthrob

AKA the heart attack I gave a customer today by serving her 16 oz of half and half mixed with sweet and condensed milk. I literally felt like I was giving her the gun... or the knife for a more slow and painful death... she didn't need those 2000 extra calories from that drink, believe me.
Sometimes I feel bad serving those people who could really be spending their 5 dollars on heart healthy spinach. Or some fruit. Something less fattening than their ass, which happens to be pointing in every direction at once. (HAhaha! Your mama jokes pouring from my ears)

WORK OUT!!!!

Is this legal?

OK, it's time to get real and talk about tipping.
(You = customers who don't tip)
1. You always, ALWAYS tip when you have a child (see number 5 for further info)
2. You always, ALWAYS tip when you are buying more than one espresso drink. I think the company credit card has room for a few more dollars that aren't yours to spend, especially when you are thanking someone for making a drink that will probably get you that promotion you've been wanting for a while. If one more bank calls in an order for 10 detailed espresso drinks, pays with the company card, and doesn't write in a tip, I WILL. Just because that is totally rude of you not to.
3. You always tip when you order sandwiches. They cost more, and take more time. You are in a cafe restaurant, and so you should tip like you are in a restaurant.
4. You always tip when I am nice to you. ALWAYS. Bartenders get a dollar a drink, and do less work, and deal with better people. I should get at least that.
5. You always tip when you have kids!!!! ALWAYS! I don't care if they are expensive! It's a pain in my ass cleaning up after them since you refuse to do your motherly/fatherly duty! DO IT!!!!!
6. You should just always tip. ALWAYS.
Maybe you don't realize that our "living wage" is poverty level, and the only way I can actually afford to live, is on the tips I get from the general public. Believe it or not, we don't have benefits or insurance, or anything employed people usually take for granted, so any expenses (medical or otherwise) come directly from our pockets. Yes, it's true. SO remember that, the people you miff everyday need your help.
That is all.

Why So Negative?

Okay, I admit it... I have done noting but complain about things on this blog. It's true. Sometimes, venting can end up as a positive thing, help me organize my thoughts, feelings, etc. However, being this negative all the time has made me feel... unhappy to say the least. No one wants to hang out with a negative Nancy, and if I let these "venting sessions" poison the rest of my thoughts, and extend into my real world... well then that negates the therapy of venting on line. Am I right?

Anyway, after this very, VERY hectic weekend of baristaing for probably 1000 people, I decided I can't let other people's bad attitudes, decisions, or lack of work ethic bother as much as I have been letting it. Also, I can't complain about things out loud, especially at work, because I have a pretty loud voice that projects through walls that I can't see around. I am sorry. Sometimes I get frustrated and just blurt it all out, don't think, and have no filter... oops! In that respect, I can be pretty dumb at work. I suppose I think no one else is listening to me, except for the person I am talking to directly. That is untrue. A lot of people are listening, customers especially, and I got caught talking about one.....

Eeeee!

Lets not have that happen again.

Anyway, I also realized that while some people are trying to legitimize this type of business, I am just bitching about it (which sometimes is needed for sanity, but in the right way). So, what is the solution? I will try to be more productive in my critique of all that is coffee people, and just let it sit on the page... so as to offend only the few who don't understand thereputic sarcasm.

Why?

Sometimes I feel like... what's the point of doing this if no one is going to read it or comment on my thoughts. It's like I am just putting these comments out there and nothing is gettting done... I suppose that is true, that complaining leads to nothing, but I thought maybe someone would say "Hey! That happened to me one time!" or
"Hey! I hate that too!" or
"Hey! You are so hilarious!"

That is all.

It's My Friday!

Like most people in the service industry, my "weekends" fall right in the middle of the week. Monday happens to be my Friday, which is nice for me (a break from all the crazy's I dealt with on Saturday and Sunday) but unfortunate for.... oh, everyone else I know? I rarely have days off with my friends, since we all work opposite schedules, so here I am... alone in a bar on my Friday night, writing on my computer....
WOW....
It's okay, you can say it...
NERD ALERT!
okay, I have been sufficiently told. Thank you.
I also seem to be drinking something with coconut rum in it, when I specified "The Uze" aka a vodka tonic. This is already an interesting night.

I am going to take a break from my usual bitching about my nitwit customers (Okay, who are we kidding, I will probably bitch a little bit about someone...) to touch on a different subject:
me being a customer. There are a few things I have already noticed about the server/customer relationship when reversed.
First of all: I look better as a customer. Case in point, I walked in to my shop a good 4 hours after my shift had ended today. I had showered, put on make-up, a push-up bra, and done my hair. People were shocked! I was "unrecognizable from this morning" commented one customer; and a regular said, "It's so strange to not see you in black! I said, who are you?"
Well, thank you! I like to know that my work appearance can be easily discarded and replaced by the hot me that goes out on Sexy Monday nights... and maybe won't be recognized as "That coffee girl"... ? (Yes, it is a question)
Second: I want people to be nice to me when I walk in.
I frequent this said bar that I am currently sitting at, and I really like it when a few certain people are working, Namely because they pour my drink as I walk in. Also, they smile at me and say "Hey What's up" as if they really mean it. I bullshit all day long! The least someone else could bullshit for me when I walk up to the counter.... Am I wrong?
(Ahh! Wierd coconut flavor!)
Third: I like attention.
Possibly a given on why I don't like strippers unless I am on stage, BUT, if I am at a restaurant and it takes me 45 minutes to order food, and not get that food for 30 more minutes.... why am I there? If I am at a table with an empty drink and water glass and there are less that 10 people in the place, there is no reason I should be ignored. NONE.
Example, Karaoke waitress 2 and 3 make me not want to go back. I love you Kimmy! but unfortunately, your co workers refuse to get my friends and I drinks on any sort of regular basis. They also don't give me change back from a 20 on am 11 dollar tab. ridiculous. I give people their change back even when they forget it. So fuck you for being so into yourself and your no giving drink ass to think I would tip you that much. Kimmy deserves it. You do not. EVER. Unless you change your ways and totally blow my mind with niceness. And also, don't make out (literally) with you sicko boyfriend on top of the bar. Bad form! I couldn't even tell she was out waitress until they unstuck each other and wiped their dirty mouths, while rolling their eyes, and she yelled "What do you guys want?" I kinda thought it was because I was staring at her tit half out of her shirt, but no, it was a legit question ment to be "What can I get for you?"

Woah... sorry about that rant... I just got hung up on that situation. No thanks to this wierd drink I am trying to ingest. I should go talk to someone about this.....

HOT

Wow... thanks heat wave! It's been so hot recently, I don't even have the energy to bitch and moan about bad tips, messy customers, new people, and shitty old people. Let these few excerpts from work give you an idea:
Friday: 5 to go sandwiches with salad and pickles. Total: $37.00 Tip: ZERO
Saturday: 6 drinks, 7 pastries, 2 sandwiches, NO TIP.
Sunday: "What is this, a fucking zoo!" (as I pick up three dismantled NY Times which have been spread around the entire left side of the cafe, as well as napkins littering the floor.)
Monday: 5 drinks, 6 pastries, 3 kids, $0.25 tip.... but they cleaned up after them selves.. THANK YOU!

Tuesday and Wednesday, the hottest days of the week I had off, thank God. Those days, I spent jumping fromone airconditioned store to the next, and then an entire day at the beach with my favorite person in the entire world, Gabriel Rodriguez, aka sexiest boyfriend ever. I would say that day was my saving grace, since I was about to go AWOL at work and seriously tell customers just how rude they were being. But, as always, my love can see beyond the heatsoaked now and center me in reality. Where I run on emotion, he runs on logic, which means perfect balance of conversation at a day at the beach. Obviously I needed this detox day because the heat was poisoning my brain.

Yesterday (Thursday) consisted mostly of a.) sweating it out at work and b.) movie theaters.
I watched four movies yesterday. Two at the theater, two at home.. wait two and 1/2 at home...
Anyway, needless to say the heat has been affecting all of us. Some mentally, some physically, mostly both for me. But today is so nice out, maybe I can have another refreshing day at the beach tomorrow, after I work. We will see!