Monday, January 31, 2011

"Hello!"

Literal responses to "Hello" where I work.


"Hey! How's it going?"
"A Large Non-Fat Latte"


"...and what can I get for you?"
"Umm, how about a smile, for starters?"
(am I not smiling? because I know I am)


"Hi! What can I get for you today?"
"Hey, great, how are you?
"uhh... good, good. Aaaand...?"


"Can I have a misto?"
"A misto?"
"It's like, I don't know, some coffee and hot milk."
Oh, do you mean a cafe au lait?"
"What is that?"
"It's just French for coffee and steamed milk, so I think that sounds what you would like, right?"
"I don't know I just order it at Starbucks."

This is what I deal with on a Friday night:

As I am on bar, trying to make three perfect cappucinos at once, a man wearing a shirt the most outrageous color of sherbet orange walks up to the bar and starts talking loudly. My co-worker, Lisa, is busy with a line of customers, trying to help some middle schooler decide with pastry has less calories.
Now, because this person just walked in, did not stand in line, and I am busy trying not to over foam my milk, I did not realize he was talking to me, until:

Man: Miss! MISS!
Me: Oh, do you have a question sir
Man: Could you do me a favor, professional courtesy, miss. As one professional to another?"

Lisa and I look at each other, not concealing raised eyebrows.

Us: "Well, what exactly is this... favor?
Man: "I need you to cash this personal paycheck. Can't you do that?"
Me: "Uhh, I don't think..."
Man: "... I work at Bamboo Sushi! Everybody knows me on this block!!" As he guestures wildly around him, I think, no, I KNOW I have never seen this crazy man before, and I have worked on this block for over two years.

Lisa: "We really can't do that... besides that we don't have enough cash on hand... we just don't do that."
Me: Can't you go to a bank?

Man: "Well, I guess I'll just go to Starbucks! I'm sure they do professional favors... Thanks a lot ladies..." (grumble grumble grumble)

Me, as he leaves: "Is that supposed to threaten us, that he is going to Starbucks? Am I supposed to be upset by that 'cuz... I am totally not upset that that sherbet shirt is gone."

But seriously, how is this a normal request? Who, in their right mind, walks into a small local business and actually expects them to cash a personal paycheck?